hearts - it's February!

This morning when Sophia was getting dressed she saw a heart on the tag of her pants. She has only recently been introduced to the cultural convention that hearts = love. So, she said to me, there is a heart on my pants so I can love you all day.

Aww . . . I accepted her offer of loving me all day, which had many manifestations, many hugs and i love yous, rolled right in with fighting words and resistance. The joys of a securely attached child figuring out this life. I love watching it unfold.

happy loving month to you.

I'm back!

Whew! I haven't disappeared forever and am glad to be getting back to this blog. Nothing major has kept me away - just the wilds of life! Blessed family visits, holiday baking and gifting, daily homemade meals, comforting a teething babe, trying to get some laundry done with a washer and dryer that are, well, a bit past their prime, loosing track while trying to count the dust bunnies.
Life is full!

Here are few of my favorite things that have made me smile recently:

On the morning of St. Nicholas Day, Sophia woke up and told me she saw Santa at the window last night.

On Daddy's birthday he made homemade bratwurst with the new sausage stuffer I found on Craig's List. Es schmecht wie Deutschland - echt!

With my mom in town, I was able to take Sophia sledding on the dyke on a very windy and cold morning. She insisted on going down by herself. (This is a dyke and is rather steep.) Halfway down, clearly terrified, she lets go of the handles of the sled, and as the ground levels off at the bottom is thrown face first into the snow, and then flips over. She was very upset and I felt terrible for her. My loving arms and some hot cocoa helped smooth over the adventure. At the same time, it was the most hilarilous thing I have seen in a long time. If I'd had a video camera I surely would post that adventure video here!

I told my sister that I was wishing for a butter bell and a rebounder for Christmas this year and she had no idea what I was talking about.

Holiday Blessings,
and I'll be back sooner this time!!

Nutroll and Poppyseed

Wish I could give you a taste!  They turned out well, and it was a tiring, but joyful, family effort to get these rolls rolling.  

On a crystal clear, icy Saturday we carried on my grandmother's  Christmas tradition of nut roll and poppy seed rolls.  My grandmother, now 88 and still rolling these out, got this recipe from an old, Polish woman at a bridal shower almost seventy years ago.  I learned the ins and outs of roll making from her about five years ago and this is my fourth year rolling them out.  I make six rolls of each and gift them about.  This year I had the help of both kiddos!

We look forward to bringing some to the Thompsons for Thanksgiving.  Enjoy your feasts!

a hunting we will go . . .

Five years after completing the hunting safety course, Trevor is finally hunting. He completed the safety course the summer we pasture raised 100 chickens and processed them for friends' and our winter meat consumption. While we tended daily to those birds, we watched scores of Canadian geese land in the pond next to our house. It didn't make sense to be putting so much energy and so many resources into raising these birds, when there was wild game overtaking the pond.  With few natural predators, these geese often overpopulate and can make local ponds practically unusable.  People often addle the eggs in the spring to control the populations.  Why not let the cygnets live and eat them instead, utilizing the natural, though seemingly crass, model of the universe.  

To live, others must die.  This is such a strange truth to sensitive spirits.  Even if I only eat plants, I deeply acknowledge the life they give up for me and the animals who are killed by others so that our crop lands can flourish.  With animals it is an even more intimate relationship with death and one I want my children to know and experience.  Yesterday, while snacking on icicles on the back porch, Sophia and I found a dead mole.  It looked injured and I imagined the stray cat I have seen wandering through our backyard probably killed it in these lean times.    Sophia and I talked about how the cat hunts like Daddy hunts; how life is taken to support life.  A small opening to the mysteries that surround us . . . 

We look forward to the wild gathered meat Daddy will hopefully bring home.  We hope to make deer bologna and sausage by combining it with the lard rendered from our pig.  I love living locally.  It makes so much sense to me.  I still use and am grateful to the global market place for many things, such as coconut oil, oatmeal, bananas, avocados, sugar, olive oil, tea, coffee, raisins, and soy sauce.  However, our staples come from our bio-region: all of our dairy, eggs, meat, fruit (except bananas and advocados), vegetables (from May to December at least), fermented vegetables, honey, maple syrup and much of our grains, beans, herbs, wine, beer and medicines are local and often self-crafted.  I get such satisfied pleasure from putting a 100% local meal on the table.  It feels like a grounding gift, and I feel my cells smiling.  

As with all of our food, we will honor the deer with prayers of gratitude for it's strength-giving food.  I recognize my own mortality in this deer, and I recognize that I don't have all the answers to the way this universe cycles.  It is challenging to live wholly and consciously in this world.  I have deep respect for everyone trying to do this in their own way.

peace to you this weekend

welcome snow . . .

The past two days of snow have not been our first by any means, but they have been our most intense.  We move ever deeper into the deep, white nest of winter.  This time of year can be more challenging in many ways, but we also welcome the ways it slows us down, brightens the landscape and refreshes our perspectives.

blocks!

It's amazing to me how a few random objects brought home from our neighborhood thrift store can activate a child's imagination and re-ignite a passion for blocks.  Ever since I brought home the two objects pictured below (neither of them actually toys), Sophia has played every single day with her blocks, building houses, barns, garages, theaters, bath houses, and roads.

Amish horse and buggy
Cinnamon doll

Blocks are my favorite "toy" to play with her, so these two 5 cent purchases have been worth their weight in gold in terms of the creativity of our household.  I love that something so simple, so inexpensive and so recycled can be so inspiring!  

Now, though, I am considering adding to our block collection (all of which are from my childhood collection) because we often use up every single block and are still hungry for more construction.  I located a couple of inexpensive wood product sites on the web and will hopefully make a $15-$25 dollar purchase before Christmas time.  I hope to have the blocks and spools and other enchanting wooden shapes sent to my sister's house where we will be spending some holiday time.  That way we can keep creating with new inspiration there!  Here are a couple of sites I found, however I have not ordered from them yet, so can't vouch for any.

casey's  

(thanks to soulemama for this find)

woodworks

howee

Happy building!

night night

Well, I'm still trying to figure out how to get the pictures uploaded with consistency onto Blogger. Since my planned post for today relied on pictures I will save that post for a picture-friendly day.

It's night time now. The children are asleep. We took dinner over to a friend's house since the mama is sick and she has four children. So, we brought leftovers and fed everyone and then cleaned up. Upon returning home, Sophia was very, very tired since she did not fall asleep at quiet time today. She was screaming, both from exhaustion and from the disappointment of having to leave the fun of her friends' house. She was still screaming when we got home, but kept insisting she needed dinner, even though we ate at our friends' house. I plated some food, put it in front of her and went up to put the baby down. She continued to scream and eventually came upstairs and lay down next to the baby and I screaming, "Mommy." Clearly exhausted.

I knew words were useless at this moment. I put my hand on her and was surprised that she let it stay lightly on her belly. I decided I should take my own advice from when I told her to send her brother calming energy to put him to sleep. So, I breathed up deep, grounded, relaxing energy and imagined it falling over her. I closed by eyes and breathed and breathed and breathed.

Meanwhile, the baby was still nursing at my breast. I thought, 'I want a picture of this.' Isn't this what mothering is, energy pouring out of my breast and my hands into these two marvelous creations. Giving, giving, giving . . . yet it gives back to me. As I pull energy up for my daughter, I bring it also into my body. As I nurse the baby, his trust grounds me.

Marvelously, the baby kept nursing despite a screaming sister in his ear, and they both fell fast asleep in a matter or minutes. A magical moment.

Relax, be well, sleep sound my children.


good night all